Beauty oF Home

For most people the image of home can spark a myriad of emotions. It can provoke comfort, anger, uneasiness, hope, fear, excitement, memories and so much more. Some may think of a house, a place, or a state of being. Its not just one thing that comes to mind as I think of home.

What is home? 

Is it refuge, comfort, family, memories, a building, a bed, peace?

Amy and I: Tahoe 2008

One of the most difficult questions I can answer is, "Where is home?" Four things come to mind....Tahoe, Danville, Canyon Creek, and Heaven.

Tahoe is a beautiful place. The place I would say I am most at home. The place where my life seems to make sense. God seems real and close and the distractions of life seem far away, everything is simpler. Tahoe is my safe haven, I can sit on the beach during sunset and watch the sun set over the mountains. I can sit on our back deck with family and friends having silly and serious conversations over my dads amazing BBQ dinner. I can feel Gods presence as I sit on my little private beach on North Shore and watch the rocks appear and disappear under the waves as they lap up on the mountainside. Its where I go when I need to be alone with the Lord, and where I can go cry out to God for clarity in the midst of the clouds covering my brain. Its home to me because when the rest of the world seems to be going crazy, I can go there, its is my refuge, my calming place. 

Danville mostly can be considered home because that is where my family lives. On Junewood court is where my life seems to be centered on. When I tell friends at school that I am going "home" they know that essentially I am saying that I am going to my parents house where I have a bedroom and food and people I love. Although Danville is the technical place that would be considered home, I have never really and truly felt "home" there. 

Canyon Creek is home for my soul. Everyone always says that the church is not a physical building but rather a community of people. Canyon Creek Church is my home because that is where God has revealed himself to me, its where I became a Christian. Because of the people that influenced my life there, I can forever consider CCPC my church home. When I think of CCPC I think of overwhelming love, no matter where I have been or what I have done, the family of CCPC welcomes me in, makes me feel loved and deeply appreciated and there is a care that shines through everyones eyes that knows me. The strong emotional attachment could come from the fact that I have been able to serve there, or also because I have been able to love there, or because I have been taking care of there. CCPC is home because ultimately when I need soul care, a place to let my heart be known and cared for and about, I know that my church "family" is there. No matter how much time passes I can always go back and know that it is safe there. 

Heaven is Home. I can't help but think that my home is not here on this Earth, as much as some days I thoroughly enjoy being here, what I long for can't be fulfilled while I am still in this physical body. I spoke last night to a friend and told him not to be sad for me because I am in pain, but instead to be excited for the day that I will have no pain anymore. I was telling him that he didn't need to worry if God took me home, because ultimately it should be a joyful occasion! When I go home I will have unending joy, unending fullness, unending clarity, and a complete lack of pain.

I am not afraid to go home, my real home with my Father and my Savior. I am not afraid of being gone as much as I am the pain that I might have to endure on the way. I experience physical pain each and every day...some days are worse than others but in the end I try not to complain or worry because I know that in some way or another I might be able to give glory to my Father in heaven because of it, and secondly because I know that it is only temporary. My pain might last for the night, but in the dawn of a new day when this earth passes away, my pain and struggle will be gone.

When I was in high school I fell in love with a song by Mercyme called Homesick. The words still affect me today. 

You're in a better place, I've heard a thousand times

And at least a thousand times I've rejoiced for you

But the reason why I'm broken, the reason why I cry

Is how long must I wait to be with you

I close my eyes and I see your face

If home's where my heart is then I'm out of place

Lord, won't you give me strength to make it through somehow

I've never been more homesick than now

Help me Lord cause I don't understand your ways

The reason why I wonder if I'll ever know

But, even if you showed me, the hurt would be the same

Cause I'm still here so far away from home

I close my eyes and I see your face

If home's where my heart is then I'm out of place

Lord, won't you give me strength to make it through somehow

I've never been more homesick than now

In Christ, there are no goodbye

And in Christ, there is no end

To see you again

To see you again

And I close my eyes and I see your face

If home's where my heart is then I'm out of place

Lord, won't you give me strength to make it through somehow

Won't you give me strength to make it through somehow

Won't you give me strength to make it through somehow

I've never been more homesick than now 

The women of Tahoe
Amy, Sandy, Sandy, Cathy, Kristina

Friends in Tahoe

Canyon Creek Church Crew
Josh, Jax, Matt, Andrew, Robert, Jenny, Ash, Stevie, Kristina,  Will

Emerald Bay Tahoe

Family 

Our Home in Tahoe

Kings Beach Tahoe

The Lake

This song seems to be encapsulating all my feelings today. I long for home. Sometimes I wonder which home I long for, but tonight I know that I long for the deep intimacy with my Savior Jesus Christ, that will only be fully possible and complete when I am in heaven in perfect community with Him who loves me above all else. I long for no more pain, no more worries, no more sadness, no more stress, no more anxiety. I long for the fullness of His Grace, His Mercy, His Love, and His Presence. I have so much here already, but nothing on earth will quite compare to the Beauty of Home.